


"Angstiest Thing You Can Create"

by finwritesthings



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Blood, Depression, Gen, Original work - Freeform, Rape, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-28 00:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finwritesthings/pseuds/finwritesthings
Summary: How can you love a body that no longer belongs to you?





	"Angstiest Thing You Can Create"

Her hands shook as she pulled herself off the bathroom floor, she needed to know. Her body screamed with fear as she peered over the sink, each intake, each exhale shallow and raw. A sob tore it’s way from her throat as the double lines stared back at her. It drained every ounce of strength from her body, every ounce of will.She was only vaguely aware of the pain in her head as she crumpled to the floor. Her chest shook with silent sobs, but no tears came, she’d spent so many nights crying herself to sleep that she had nothing left to cry. She lay there, sorrow and pain creeping through her body like cancer as time ticked on. Her thighs still felt wet with the blood long washed away, her screams still echoed in the confines of her mind, her body still burned where his hands had been and time ticked on. The bruises had faded, the clothes had been thrown out, her showers were countless, and time ticked on.

 

She’d heard the stories, had seen the news. All those girls, with families, with lives, with futures, turned to nothing more than headlines for uncaring viewers. She’d been to the campaigns, signed the petitions, tried to help the victims. She never thought she would become one herself. Never thought it would be her. Never thought. Never. Never. Never.

 

Her eyes did not see the bathroom tiles: all they saw were the sheets crumpling up into her vision and the wall of the bedroom she’d been in as he’d held head down, held her wrists, and used her like a dirty rag, thrown her away like trash. She thought she’d be safe, thought he was a friend, thought she knew all the signs. She had been wrong. And now, as she lay on her bathroom floor, trembling and cold, she wondered who would go with her, hold her hand as she stared at sterile white walls, lend her a shoulder as she trembled and broke once more. She wondered if she could go at all. If she could ever get up again. If she would ever sleep through the night without waking up screaming. If she would ever stop being afraid.

 

Her world spun as she lifted herself up off the floor, hands shaking as they clutched the bathroom sink. Her eyes did not recognize the face in the mirror, hollow and sunken from days without eating, without rest, without leaving her apartment, without moving farther than the couch to the bathroom. She could not sleep in her bed, the sheets felt too similar, the pillow too suffocating, the duvet too restrictive.

 

She shook with anger, hands balled into fists. How could he have done this to her, how could she have deserved this? She screamed as her fist smashed against the mirror. Blood dripped down her arm, splattering the sink in crimson. She turned on the tap, she knew that visual all too well, how the blood-stained water swirling down the drain. The glass dug into her hand, buried deep in her flesh, the pain did not register. The only pain left was the one between her hips and the one in her chest. She opened the cupboard with her bloodied hand. The Tylenol rattled violently as unsteady fingers drew it out. The tears started to flow again, the drought having been lifted for this last moment. She struggled the bottle open. It felt odd to her lips, the ribbed edge a texture she wasn’t familiar with. Perhaps, the pain could stop after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a sprint I did where the prompt was "the angstiest thing you can write". I don't think this was quite the saddest I can go and definitely not my best work, but I still like it.


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